that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
