everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
