I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
