Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize