I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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