we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Randomize
