I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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