don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize