you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
