Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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