The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize