I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
