Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
