GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
