After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
