Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
