ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
