Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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