Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
