he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So much Jack, so little girl.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
