I will die if light touches me.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
