I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
