It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
