i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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