Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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