I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
