my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
