I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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