Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
