you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just had sex on a roof
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
