Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
