I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
