I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
