I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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