I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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