I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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