Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
