Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
