...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
