oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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