white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
