if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We have started to decorate penises.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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