Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
