so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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