Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
