Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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