She is in my trunk
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
True college students do jello shots in the library
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
