Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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