How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
