Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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