Already got asked if we're dating
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
