Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I could make wine with my vomit
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You dont lie about slip and slides
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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