i just google imaged poop.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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