I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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