we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
