I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
