I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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