HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
