i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I need water and some morals
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
