Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
