Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
