We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
