Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
