dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
