Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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