Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Is it penis luge time yet?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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