its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
