I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
