Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
