Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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